lovenelle

fuck this day.

2008-02-08T06:40:19Z

i woke up with tears rolling down my face.
and i could feel it in my bones that it wouldn't
be a good day today.i had terrible sleep last night.
i had nightmares.and when i woke up my face was
wet(NOT THAT WET) but filled with tears.i fucking miss my
clique and especially Her.everything is different now.
im recovering from my sickness but it makes no diff
weather im dying or not dying.my heart still aches like
how a fat boy hasnt been eating his favourite cake.
sigh.i sat on the toilet bowl and i thought to myself,
whats done cannot be undone,But how freaky it would if
you could go back to the past and try to make things perfect again!
but its not gonna happen anyway.so stop dreaming Janelle.

kickass.

2008-02-07T02:34:01Z

Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not pledge a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Happy cina new year.

say its possible.

2008-01-26T06:39:29Z

Not just another Saturday afternoon.listening to good dancehouse,trance and techno.
The whole week's been fucked up.like serious fucked up shit up your fucking arse.
im not the usual calmed down feeling now. i've been rather uptight and agitated.
i have no idea why,maybe cause i need to party and that'll be LATERR!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LESLEY LOVE.ehh leyy sweet 16!!

saturday afternoon.

2008-01-19T05:25:56Z

I wait for you,
anxious to see your face.
I stand and watch,
looking for the sign of your arrival.
I finally see you,
I take a second look to make sure your really there.
My pulse races and i crack a smile,
this is what i've been waiting for.
You begin to approach,
you say " sorry im late. "
i say " No problem."
But i think to myself,
"i'd have waited forever.''

crushcrushcrush

2008-01-18T13:41:01Z

i wanna watch the sunset and blow bubbles by the sea.

spank you berry much nehz.

mindufcks.

2008-01-15T03:50:36Z

i am not in school.i am at home.i just got up and im suffering from menstral cramps.it sucks like fuck cause it feels like you're being voodoo-ed.

cherry blossoms,prettyful flowers ever.

Monday.

2008-01-14T12:56:15Z

School was good,well kinda.Argh SCHOOL WOULD SUCK TOMORROW! school ends at 2.15 oh darn.
kayz i was just sitting down with godma and dad,we were talking about the house in thailand and stuff.
I CANT WAIT. i just cant stay in Singapore anymore. Singapore's just,stressful.it's too busy and too, uptight.
i need to stay somewhere that you know,you can layback and just walk around with bra and panty(well not that i would do it)
but ya.i need to really chill.and eat more good food.and meet friendlier people( Though im very happy with my friends,plus i totally love ya'll)
so dad say's i need to learn more thai words and especially i need to know how to write, i feel like im going to be a kindergarden kid again.
but i mean its cool.im glad to learn(: phew,i new experience,a new culture, a new world and a new world.Thailand,here i come( in another 4 yrs time) IT'LL BE SOON.SOOOON.

soo OMG i finally got my period.like finally.its beeeen long.but its been bothering the people around me.Not me but the others.
i am soooo moody.soo fuckin moody.i feel l ike i could tear my hear out and just BREATHHHH.

yea.sooo peace out mun.

happy birthday jac.

2008-01-12T09:44:44Z

so it starts out as a fucked up week.which still equals to some ppl involved with me.well im sorry but im not sorry.yea that kinda feeling.kay partly it would be my fault.so anyways,life's been good,well its not as if its the end of the world and there's more screwed up stuff out there to think about. But,timing and Part of nelly's life is kinda disturbed though.

It's raining now..and hours time to head out to Jac's supa sweet 16.yay.its time again i should let go and drink to my fill and dance till i drop.LETS GET DIRTAYY

hoi yea,you know whoever your are,gosh.i dint know you had all the time to copy everything down from my LJ.
yes i know how you feel towards me.i dont blame you.but i've always respected you,i've never Ever talked
behind your back or even think about it.but it looks like your getting too much,yet i still respect you no matter what.
for what every motive your up to.i cant do anything.i'll just sit and laugh.

lifes a bitch towards me again.

2008-01-07T14:25:48Z

What the fuck.

schools out!

2008-01-03T14:40:17Z

YEA SCHOOLS OUT!! soo anywaysss. its the second day of school anddd school already sucks.well not so bad laa.
i love my friends.like school has been more fun,maybe cause its our seniour year. woohooo. Oh fuck N level's mannn! must buck upppppp.
hmmm after school met bern,larve and sher and alot of people! cool cool(:
so yea err mel met adam at n2.where we went after school.tracy,denise,me,ern ,larve,sher,jia qian.
went to eatt macs.mmmmmmmmm twister fries bebeh.okay then went to POD.had waffle ice cream.yumm
then fetch my prince under my blk.blahhh.
sher entertainted us with her KUKU-NESSS.she's sucha darl laa.and mel and adam left.
sher left too:( but anyway the rest went up my house.watched tv! and had dinner.
and watched tv till latee.then went home.talking to prince on the phone now.SHE'S LAUGHING
LIKE MADDDDDDDDD.cause she watches korean drama and get facinated-.-
okay cute.

ITS STILL CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEARS TOMORROW!

2007-12-30T13:19:26Z

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS DARLS! AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.i know i know its late,but hey its still christmass(:
welll been spending lots of time with my friends.and im loving it.i hope it'll stay like this even though im still in SAC
and my darling prince leshia will be in ITE:( AND AND LARVE AND AND BERNNNN AND SHERRR:(
booohooo! i promise i wont forget ya'll so you musnt forget me k k k k?
ya anyway,ohh i havent been going to town! well its been two days though. TOWN SUCKS NOWW
its like freaking crowded.with freaking retards everywhere.SHER'S IN JAPANNNN! HO HO HO SHE'S FREAZING HER
ASS OFF MANNN.but i miss her badly.her kukuness. its okay i still have the accompany of my two prince-ss
so the last few days,nothing much,the two prince-ss been coming my house.like chill and movies.and today
met them again.
we're invited to denise's house but larve cant make it.soo yea only me,my prince,bernn,jia qian came over.WELL JUST SENT THEM OFF
AND IM BACK HERE AGAIN AT DEE'S HOUSE.hmm staying over.would be fun though.sadly the rest of them have to go home.the more the merrier:(
missing ya'll already:(
nevermind.yea! meeting prince-ss and qian again.WATCH FIREWORKS.YAYY.

kk soo i gtg play games.BYEEE!

HAPPY BURSTDAY ARRRVIND(:

2007-12-19T04:57:33Z

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST ARVIND!

yay arvind's birthday tooodayz,can go out with the clique,happy happy time!
I CAN HARDLY BREATH,I MAKE MYSELF WANNA SCREAM,IM SO RIDICULOUS
IM SO GOOD TO MYSELF.BABYYYYY YEAAAAAAA.
-.- yo.

YA ANYWAYS JEMIE NAT PHUA.IF YOUR READING THIS YOU BETTER FUCKING CALL ME
CAUSE I SOMEHOW FIND THAT WE'VE LOST CONTACT CAUSE I CHANGED MY NUMBER
AFEW DAYS AGO AND POOR YOUUU,YOU MUST BE WONDERING WHERE THE FUCK IS JANELLE.
BABY,IM HERE! COME ONLINE,well i cant possible tell you my num-Ber right her Rightz?
misssss you twinnie.winks winks my china chickahhhh.dont play play.
buh-bye(:

your gorjuss.

2007-12-17T14:03:47Z

its like this,if your happy im happy.
Had the most finally in MONTHS.reunited with my ex besffriends
BABY RUTH CAME BACK.tracy's party was the bombz and then came
tasha's too.Girls night last night.it was kewlz(:
hmmm im fucking happy i just dont know why.
maybe cause like FINALLY MANNN.FINALLY!!!
RUTH,TASHA,JAC,GAB AND ALL like harloz!?!?!
FINALLY!
EHH PPL CHEER FOR ME! IM HAPPY DUDEE! HAPPPPY!
YES ITS GREEE-ATE TO BE HAPPY.FINALLY HAPPY.
its been loong ever since im happy.it does feels goood
OKOK CUT THE CRRRAP NOW.
hmmm tmr's
sher,ben,larve,leshia's result day,ill pray for ya'll halve the night kay.
really hope you'll do well.YOU WOULD anyway.
so yea im off to bed,gotta wake up early tmr.
going to national skin centre,i got desease la.

someone who lives in your heart.

2007-12-13T16:38:28Z

Been tonning and slacking with my loved ones.
my prince leshia,
sherilyn sis,
bern sis,
prince Lumber 2ooz,larve.

LARVE JUST CAME BACK FROM LONDON LEHHHHH!
FUCKING MISSED HER ALOT AND SHE'S BACK.
YAY WE'VE GOT AN EXTRA VOICE IN THE
CLIQUE AGAIN! WOOOPEES!

Ehhh,im so sad also know..aiyah i wouldnt say right here,but the closer peeps would understand though.
so thanks fer being for me,the princess.I,the Princess is really greatful and satisfied.OK la satisfied like
so mean like that.but im truly greatful for the great friends i have.and seriosuly i've been throwing tantrums
and giving attitude,spoiling my own mood and making others worry.i've been like a real spoilt princess.
i truly am sorry,not a million times,but deep down from my heart.

To that person: i've been hiding so much.i'll get an applause for being sucha good actress.and yet
i do try to make obvious most of the time,well, i still seem so invisible to you.there's always this
urge when i want to tell you how much i love you.i can wait,and i will.But,whats the point,i bet
you will never see through me.i'll be there whenever you need me.i just need you to trust me and
open up your heart for me.

PS:DENISE TAN! WHERE ARE YOU,WHY YOU MIA SUDDENLY AHHH! I MISS YOU LEHHH!

HARLOOOZ KITTY(:

2007-12-10T05:54:42Z

sawadeeka,back from thailand ORLEDI.MISS ME RIGHT?!?!
thanks i miss you tooz.beli bely muchiez nehzzz!
okay im bored im going mad.OOO KUKU!
yaa anwyays thailand was great.ONLY IN PHUKET.we thought krabi would be great but there was
nothing but filled with thai malays,not being racist buttt ya.just not my thing with no beaches and hot guys.
celebrated king's birthday.poor thing soo old and frill.his getting sick.Long live the king,his sucha good man.
MOVED BACK TO PHUCKET AFTER TWO DAYS.COULDNT TAKE IT.stayed at my condo.located at patong town beach,some of you might have been there,COME AND VISIT ME SOME TIME,if im there,im staying at patong tower.
ANYWAYYYYY IM BLACK.AND IM PEEELINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.i hate singapore.its raining every fucking day! but i love my friends.I LOVE YOU,DENISE TAN.SHERILYN CHIA,BERNICE TAN,LARVENA,ARVIND,NICK(LAMECHOP),MY PRINCE LESHIA.....i shall not say her full name..though..

but yea i've missed you all in thailand.never fail to sms prince everyday.she makes my day.so does DERNICE TUN.wontan.wooots.haahaha omgg sooooo lame laaa.ya whatever.errr kay im sneezing and sneezing non stop.oo tonight ppl tonning over at my house.so funnn.yayyy.the usual p.p.l's again.
cant wait.LOTS OF WE DE AI.muax muax muax.

Another sunny place.

2007-12-03T03:52:58Z

Wait,before im gonna say sunny(well i just did) but nways,i Hope its gonna be sunny.
World,im going to Krabi today,another island in Thailand im gonna explore,i hope the beaches
and water is clean and clear.4 DAYS ONLY,dont miss me too much okay.sniff*
But BOOO IMYA'll already,Espcially LARVE AND ARVIND:'( poor larve cant get use
to the weather in London.and arvind doing some work shit in Indonesia.both cousin
are MISSED BY MUA(:
yes yes,i'll miss sher sis,dee dee,bern jie,jia qian,ya laaaa my prince leshia.
Just go on without me,i'll be fine..( acts dramatically,as usual)
YAAAA anyway,i've been really busy going out.so by the time i come home i'll be soo lazy
to write in.Leshia has been the best,she keeps me entertained,orrrr the the way,im there
to entertain her and i'll laugh at my own laughs-.-
YAA WHATEVER LAA KAYY...ERRR im like laughing to myself.(acts horridly crazy)
i tell you something,i need to fart.

bye(:

WO AI NI P.P.Ls(:
eh so lao pak,why cannot go anymore BIGGER,I WANT IT TO BE BIGGGGERRR.LIKE THISS,BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGERRRRRRRRRRR.RRRRRRRR

Me love you long time.

2007-11-29T16:20:24Z

I like you i really do,
I love you i really do.

stucked in a bizzare love triangle,i wanna be free from it.
I love being with you,the touch of your hands,your lips
pressed againts me.how funny when we're playing petty,
and we get bites from each other.the talks we have on the
phone every single night,the msges you still send even after
we've hunged up.awaken by the vibration and ringtone on my
phone,another lovely msg from you.you've made my day.
i see you again and i get to smell you.i wonder,if this is a dream.
my senses tell me,it wouldnt be a dream,if there wasnt a third party.
but wait,i AM the third party.

But as long as my heart tells me,i love you and i really do,i'll wait for you.

NOT PERFECT CAUSE FAT.

2007-11-12T17:14:09Z

Perfect I am not, nor will I ever be.
I don't know why people like me, I'm just being me.

I never get things done, I never get it right.
My life a constant battle, in which I loose the fight.

I see people living happy, showing a lot of pride.
Wanting to be like that, I begin to cry and hide.

Everyone seems so happy, wonderful and free.
For I will never be perfect like that, because I am only me.

OMG FOR THOSE WHO HAVE CRITISIZED ME,WELL I GUESS MAYBE YOUR RIGHT.IM GOING ON A PRO ANA MARATHON.HUH PLEASE GO LOOK UP.people who's gonna stop me from being bones,im sorry but im not really very happy bout myself now.omg now i know how those people who have critisised me.SHIT,MY BAD.IM SORRY IT MUST HAVE BEEN AND EYESORE FOR YOU GUYS.but thats not the way to treat people anyway.but this is how i feel about my self now.im disgusting,im made up with plentiful of buckets.and i dont care till i go for rehab just like amy whinehouse and and courtney love and all the SKELETON STARS.and skinny people,
I ADORE YOU!!!
OMG I WANT TO BE SKINNY SO BADLY PLEASEE,IM SOOO SUPER DISGUSTING.I HATE MYSELFF For being fat. either then that im happy.oh but theres one more thing that im sad about so its a good benefit for me to lose weight=/

i will never let you fall.

2007-11-10T09:01:29Z

YOOO.ITS BEEN LONGGGGG.been busy going out with mah homies.
BOOO! DEE'S IN HONG KONG NOW,MY LAME CHOP JUST TOLD ME.AND DEE'S A MEANIE SHE DINT EVEN TELL ME ITS TODAY! omg she better get me something(((:
will miss her though!
well i went to old mental hopsital 2 days in a row and OCH.but i dint go to OCH cause of some shit.
but old mental hospital is the bomb yet not deee bomb.get what i mean? thanks leisha and alicia for holding my hand.plentiful of love from meh(:
ooo sher's birtdhay was on tuesday ah.ya tuesday. then thursday was marianne's and jia qian's bday.HAPPY BRITHDAY MY NOVEMBER BABYGIRLS.

HEYY,THATS WIERD,HOW COME I DONT RECIEVE COMMENTS SAYING I SHOULD LOSE WAIT OR IMMA FAT BITCH anymore? HAVE THEY DIED OF STUFFING THEMSELF'S WITH THE FATHER'S MILK?

gonna meet sher bern larve and leisha now.LOVE LOVE(:

move bitch.

2007-10-29T13:07:25Z

ALRIGHT,MY LAME CHOP NICK NICK,MY DEE DEE THE DENISE,MY BROTHER XIN ER AND TOO ALL MY FRIENDS ILOVEYOU and to that loser out there,so you see now.theylove fat people with good heart.well,better then yours at least.one comment of hate and three people saying how much they love me.MAJORITY WINS BITCH! ALRIGHT? MOVE YOURSELF OUTTA MY LJ,CAUSE THE COMMENT YOU SENT MUST HAVE MADEMY COM LAG.YOU HAVE TRANSFERED YOUR VIRUS TO MY COM. ANYWAY I DONT MIND SLIMMING DOWN THE FASTER WAY.SINCE YOUR NOT HAPPY.PLEASE PASS ME SOME MONEY SO THAT I CAN GO ON A LIPOSUCTION.THANK YOU VERY MUCH,IF NOT PLEASE CONTINUE DRINKING YOUR FATHER'S MILK.

the way i are.

2007-10-28T05:59:45Z

HEYY(: WHY DONT YOU,STICK OUT YOUR FINGERS AND STUFF IT IN YOUR MUMS PUSSY,AND OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND STUFF YOUR PAPA'S DICK INTO YOUR MOUTH.WOULDNT THAT BE GREAT? who you gonna call? the fat police?
i enjoy eating,well you can already see that.and im so greatful i dont have a life like yours.im sorry(:

-thats for the person who asked me to go on a diet.thanks alot for you comment.please flood me if your free.
like seriously it wont affect me much.if your skinny please drink more of your fathers milk,i dont think you'll die peacfully if died of being aneroxic.hoi yea,if you got a problem with me and my friends please feel free to come to cine as soon as possible,you can always find me there.and let me sit on you(:
please dont be such a loser,for the next comment leave your name and with a "the loser" at the end.
thank you(:

FAT FAT FAT=so what(:

Reborn.

2007-10-21T14:29:44Z

i've been going out to town slacking at rocky's with my babe dee dee and my lame chop.muaxx
i shopped like fuck with my accompany,sherilyn sis.always having the most fucking-est fun ever
with em. CANT TAHAN LAAA.MMM GERAM.
yersterday was one of the best time of my life.and this time will be new friends,well except
for dee dee and iggy. i was invited to this new friend i made birthday party.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GABRIEL.BIG BIG BOY,14 YRS OLD(:
i brought a bottle of chivas.and birthday boy Accidentally broke it. well kinda heartbreaking
i was waiting for a moment to drink.but nvm ITS OKAY(:
swam for awhile with iggy and yao hong(((:
hokay wait.i fucking forgotten his name.shit shit shit!!!
*bangs my head on the table.
ITS OKAY. theres more to come.
yea the whole group,iggy,dee,yao hong,yao hong's younger bro.yao something,darren,is there and alvin here??
yea n ways theres alot of us.majority of boys.and 2 innocent girls*flatter's eyes.
my pole dancing partner yao hong again.he rather strip dance and do pole dancing.how silly or sucha show off.
=X hahaa. yea i fucking had a greattt time with my new new new friends.and thanks dee for making all this possible
muahhh.*sniff sniff. hoi yea our tonning is like not even ton la.like we slept at 4 5. boys slept at living room. me extraded yao hong and darren and dee in, FUCK I FORGOT HIS NAME's room. but yea.pushed darren out.muahahahah.stupid ahhh beng. with a BIG OH BA KA FROM IGGY.FUCKING BIG LUO HAN GREW IN AFEW SECS AFTER KNEE FROM IGGY.poor darren though.okay its fucking funny but but its disgusting and im like having gooosebumps now.k ciao tmr got fucking schoool.
DRAGSSSSSSSSSS*

love.

PS I FORGOTT.muahahah im gonna state this down. dee got very very drunk.and very very silly! i should
have video it down.okay-____

you were my night time and i thought i was your star.

2007-10-13T10:25:52Z

Goodbye my lover.

2007-10-10T04:01:13Z

i shouldn't have asked for a breakup on Sat,and see,on sunday he told me maybe we should just stay at friends.
i shouldn't have listened to my friends.but yet i do thank them for being there fer me.
but i guess i dont want people to tell me whats best for me cause im not perfect either.
from what i've learned,no matter how much you've changed for the better,you still won't get rewarded.
im waiting patiently for him.i wanna be with him again,start afresh.
i've been sucha sober at night.drinking everyday with Sher sis,and i, studying at the same time,crying like
fuck.im so fucking stressed up.But yay exams finally over,okay, one more paper to go tmr.i just have to dig my ears.
listening tmr and im FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE(:
Ho yea i forget to tell you,i pierced my collar bone.it looks gorjuss.
cant wait for it to get seasoned.AND I WANT TO START PARTAYINGGGG ALREADYYYYYY(:
club club club drink drink drink.favian favian favian( i love you and want you back:'/ )
anyhoos,everythings just been messed up like shiOt. nothing's up, miss me love.
thank you's to the wonderful sher sis.and ,my other friends who has been there ferrrr meh.
Love.

The worst mistake in my life,
was i had that opportunity
to take you with me.
but i let you go.
and im sorry.

nothing in this world could ever replace you.

2007-10-06T03:52:42Z

i could choose to leave you,
i can live without you,
but i choose to stay,
cause i want to be with you,
till forever.I love you.

Afew nights ago,we've got a timeout.It made me wonder if its gonna lead to a breakup,afterall im all prepared
for it,anyway god wouldn't let me stay in a relationship,neither get married and have babies.
Nothing's fair in this world/in my life.
i've been feeling lika black sheep int he family,my parents have been showing my some kinda attitude,or
just can't be bothered with me.yet they pay so much attention to that fucking 12 yr old fucking faggot.
i know they love me but they dont show it.
oh wells,like they always say,its no use being rich cause you dont get the real love

Its the exam week.dint do anything for Maths paper,fucking dont bother yet i dont even know how to do.
my parents know im gonna have a U anyway.they dont even praise me even if i pass.i had 34/35 for EOA
the last time.ok i knowww you would be stupid to fail EOA,but hey i passed.i showed the marks to my mum
she was like whats this,whats EOA,im like some office thingee.she was like you should be able to pass.
i was like fuck,at least praise me or something laaa.you always praise that boy and then you say this shit to me.PLUS IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS OKAY.and my aunty happened to be there,she was like GOOD JOB.keep it up k.i snatch the paper away and walk away.SO ANYWAY if i stay back i wouldnt bother much
since they too dont even realise how much pain im going through.fuck everything.

yersterday met hasif and baby.went to town,went to get hasif birthday present from me at my brother in law's
shop at PACIFIC PLAZA,GALLERY.yea the shoe shop.he got a nike MX1 old school shoe.
and baby wants a Circa skate shoe.gonna get it for him today.
bye.